Questions for the politicians


So I’m due to chair a hustings meeting for candidates from the four main parties for a Bristol constituency this evening. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve been on enough panels at sf conventions to have a stark losing-sleep-style terror of silence.

Obviously the politicians will be fine – you just wind ’em up and they yak – but what if it’s a small audience and they all walk out out of boredom or disgust and there are no questions from the floor?

It probably won’t be a problem at all, but just in case, I pleaded for suggestions for questions to use in the event of audience non-engagement  from my modest number of Facebook chums.  I agree with them that the following all need answering, and hope some of them get put to the party leaders at the next TV debate:

Which promises will you break first?

Is the use of torture justified in special extreme cases, such as Piers Morgan?

Who would win a fight between you and Elvis Presley?

Would you hold the Pope down while I make a citizens’ arrest?

Which bands do your spin doctors tell you to pretend you like?

Are your undergarments made from renewable resources?

I need a beer – who’s buying?


3 Responses to “Questions for the politicians”

  1. 1 Charlie Bolton

    Is Elvis dead or alive in this fight?

    • Tricky. If the alive version, do we mean young, lithe, hip-swinging Elvis, or old cheeseburger-and-drugs-ridden Elvis? We need politicians to sort all this out for us.

  2. 3 Charlie Bolton

    Well, if you vote Green in this election, we promise to bring Elvis back from the dead, and put him on an organic-local vegetarian diet to make him lithe, if not young.

    To answer one of your other questions, this would be the promise we would break first.

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