Questions for the politicians
So I’m due to chair a hustings meeting for candidates from the four main parties for a Bristol constituency this evening. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve been on enough panels at sf conventions to have a stark losing-sleep-style terror of silence.
Obviously the politicians will be fine – you just wind ’em up and they yak – but what if it’s a small audience and they all walk out out of boredom or disgust and there are no questions from the floor?
It probably won’t be a problem at all, but just in case, I pleaded for suggestions for questions to use in the event of audience non-engagement from my modest number of Facebook chums. I agree with them that the following all need answering, and hope some of them get put to the party leaders at the next TV debate:
Which promises will you break first?
Is the use of torture justified in special extreme cases, such as Piers Morgan?
Who would win a fight between you and Elvis Presley?
Would you hold the Pope down while I make a citizens’ arrest?
Which bands do your spin doctors tell you to pretend you like?
Are your undergarments made from renewable resources?
I need a beer – who’s buying?
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Eugene Byrne 
Is Elvis dead or alive in this fight?
Tricky. If the alive version, do we mean young, lithe, hip-swinging Elvis, or old cheeseburger-and-drugs-ridden Elvis? We need politicians to sort all this out for us.
Well, if you vote Green in this election, we promise to bring Elvis back from the dead, and put him on an organic-local vegetarian diet to make him lithe, if not young.
To answer one of your other questions, this would be the promise we would break first.