Aren’t buses great?!


Aren’t buses great? You can sit on them and they take you places. They’re better than walking when it’s raining, and you can read a book or newspaper, or just look out of the window and let your mind wander. You can’t do any of that in a car. Well, you can, as long as you’re not the one doing the driving.

Buses have two other advantages over cars. If the bus has a top deck you can see more. Double-decker buses are the best way to explore any place. Also, you can earwig other people’s private conversations.

So the other day I’m on a Bristol bus (First put their fares up every time I use the bus. Fortunately I am wealthy enough to afford the sort of fares they charge in Bristol, and can travel in style, not like those mere proles reduced to driving around in BMWs and Porsches) … I’m on the bus and close by are two men, one tall and thin, one tall and portly.

They’re both in their early 20s, and we’ll call them Portly and Thinny.

They’re chatting for ages about some online fantasy game, maybe WoW, giving it lots of recondite stuff about rules, technology and this environment they plainly spend a lot of time in.

The conversation moves on to Portly’s state-of-the-art new phone. Dead expensive, it was, but it can do all manner of amazing stuff. Cue more technical talk. He gets on to the subject of the phone’s camera, 8 gazillion megapixels, with automatic veeblefetzers and self-correcting spunduddle.

Portly shows Thinny some pictures he’s taken of his cat, whom we are given to understand is big and rather overweight.

Portly: “Yep, that sure is a lot of pussy.”

(Slight pause…)

Thinny: “We don’t know a lot of actual women, do we?”


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